Sugar Sugar, Honey Honey

So far so good with my new fitness kick. I've completed the first 2 weeks and week 3 is well under way.

But in those 2 weeks I've also been a little disappointed that despite all my hard work, tons of sweat, and sore muscles, my weight hasn't changed at all! Two weeks in and I'm still at 135 lbs. *sigh*

A year and a half ago, being at this weight would've been an extremely happy occassion as I was well on my way to shedding all my unwanted pounds, but now it's not. Now it's discouraging because it's backwards. I've already lost this weight, and now it's back.

I simply cannot bring myself to start counting all my calories again and logging every bite I eat into a spreadsheet each day...I'm tired of that, it's TONS of work, and I just don't feel like it. I've been watching what I eat, making sure it's healthy choices and all, but I think I may be eating more calories than I actually realize.

And I've come to the incredibly horrible conclusion that I REALLY need to cut back on my sugar intake! I've known this for a while, I've just been ignoring it. If we've ever met, then you know what a HUGE change that would be for me! Esp. with my enormous love of baking!!!

But I'm determined to shed these pounds and get back into much healthier shape, so if it means I need to back off the yummy sweets for a while, then that's what I'm going to do. 

***So this week I decided to give up sugar.***

I know, I know, sounds totally impossible, right? Yeah, I went ahead and immediately apologized in advance to my family for the terrible witch I might end up turning into as a result, esp. when the sugar withdrawals start to set in!

Now before you think I'm going crazy with this notion, I'm  being very realistic with this idea. First, I'm setting a very small goal: I'm trying to go without sugar for just 1 week...7 days. If I said "I'm giving up sugar..." and left it at that, it would instantly feel like FOREVER, with no end in sight, and I'm sure I wouldn't last. Nope, for now I'm just trying to see if I can do this for 7 little days, and then if all goes well I'll see if I can do it for another 7 days, but I'm trying not to think that far ahead.

Second, I'm not sweating all the small stuff. Which means, if something I eat has sugar as an ingredient, like a loaf of banana nut bread or ketchup, I'm not going to eliminate those items from my diet this week.  I'm not giving up any natural sources of sugar, like fruits, but I am trying to avoid sugary filled things like jelly. I'm also not concerned about the tiny little teaspoon of sugar I put in my hot tea each morning (because tea without cream and sugar is just gross!), and honestly I don't think that little teaspoon is really my problem!

What I am giving up is ALL of the cookies, cake, brownies, candy, my granola bars with chocolate drizzled on top, etc. Basically, all the most enjoyable parts of eating. Honestly I think a little bit of sugar in your diet is okay,...like most things there's nothing inherently wrong with sugar, it's just a matter of how much sugar I consume...and oh baby, am I WAY over the level of what's appropriate or balanced!

Now, some people might say that's not REALLY giving up sugar, because to truly give it up I would get rid of the sugar in my tea, and only eat items that have less than 7 - 8% sugar listed on the ingredients. Well, if that's your idea of giving up sugar, then good for you. But for me, I know myself and how I operate. Which means I know I need to be realistic, and take some baby steps here.

For example, if you were a huge soda drinker, you wouldn't try to cut out ALL soda immediately because you'd go crazy with all those cravings! No, you'd first try to cut back on the amount of sodas you drink each day. I did that to get rid of an enormous Mt. Dew addiction I had several years ago.

I used to drink a minimum of two 12 oz. Mt. Dew's every single day! Yeah, that's ridiculously unhealthy, but it's what I needed to get through each day. When I became pregnant with LA I knew I needed to get rid of that bad habit, so I started cutting WAY back and slowly replaced all those Mt. Dews with water, lots and lots of water. I had the shakes REALLY bad when the caffeine withdrawals kicked in! 

But after I cleansed my body of that stuff, about a year later I had a Mt. Dew for the first time. And while I sorely missed that delicious flavor, I actually couldn't drink the whole thing and ended up with a major caffeine headache! 

I've also been really addicted to extreme energy drinks in the past, esp. those giant Full Throttles, Starbucks Doubleshots, and Starbucks Frappachinos. But I've managed to get rid of all of those awful drinks and never, ever drink them these days! In fact, it's extremely rare that I ever drink anything else other than a cup of hot tea in the morning and water all day long. That's not an instant habit, but it can happen over time.

Anyway, tangent over, back to sugar. With 5 kids in my home, and all the baking I love to do, I'm surrounded by sugar and temptations. LA was eating a Twix bar in front of me on Sunday, I made my family some awesome cinnamon-sugar mini muffins for breakfast on Monday, and EJ was eating a delicious smelling Three Musketeers bar on the way home from school yesterday.

Aside from those muffins though I haven't baked anything this week, other than a loaf of bread for sandwiches. On Sunday I ate half an apple and 1/2 cup of dry rice chex for breakfast (we were out of milk), then 2 hotdogs and some fries for lunch and snacked on a little bit of cottage cheese and crackers for dinner (was still full from lunch).

Yesterday I ate a bowl of plain rice flakes cereal with a banana and milk for breakfast with a cup of hot tea, had a bowl of soup for lunch, and some chicken and rice for dinner. This morning I ate a scrambled egg with 1 slice of toast and a lemon delight yogurt with a cup of hot tea. I'm trying to drink as much water as I can which also helps me feel much more full. I didn't worry about the natural sugar in the apple, sugar in my tea, ketchup on my fries, or the sugar in the sweet & sour sauce on the chicken...that's all small stuff, and a MAJOR cut back from all the sweets I'm used to gorging myself on!

So I really haven't eaten any sugar (at least according to my rules), but I'm CONSTANTLY thinking about sugar! Today is the start of day 3, and I'm not going crazy yet with cravings or withdrawals. I've decided that if I can actually make it through this whole week, then I'll allow myself to have a little candy treat on Halloween next Sunday before I dive into another 7 days sugar free.

And it's not much yet, but I've already noticed a tiny change on the scale. Yesterday in the late afternoon just before dinner I weighed 134.6 lbs., which is just a tiny little change, but enough to keep me motivated. If I can keep cutting back on my sugar intake, and only treat myself every once in a while, then I know I'll start to see some bigger changes on the scale.

15 Cans of Soda

Ready for an EXTREMELY LOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG fitness update?

Alright, so I guess I've been keeping you in suspense here long enough on the little mention of the picture of 15 cans of soda in my sidebar. Of course, if you've been following my fitness journey at all then you probably already figured out what's going on. But first let's go back and explain what's been happening.

Here’s my ugly status. The last time I saw myself at 125 lbs. was right after Christmas last year.  Steve and I were right in the middle of P90X and then:  

January - my Dad came to visit and I slacked off some, and went up to 128 lbs., but wasn’t too worried about it. 

February - we quit P90X and by the end of the month I was up to 130 lbs.

March - I was up to 132 lbs.

by the end of May - I was at 134 lbs. and hadn’t run in almost 2 months. 

June - So then I got together with my running buddy, Christa, and we started a summer running club. We had 4 other women join us as beginning runners and then Christa and I were following a modified program for intermediate runners with big plans to go through that 8 week training program and then begin a new one to prepare to run our first half marathon sometime this fall. We were very serious about it and actually looking up a bunch of different local races to choose one. I actually logged 62 running miles this month! Then:

July - our running club members all fizzled out with busy schedules, Christa had a painful hip injury that wouldn’t heal and forced her to back off from running, and I fell into stress mess city with all the unemployment and my student loans coming due type of stuff. 

I’ve also discovered a really interesting and somewhat bizarre pattern about myself and my relationship with exercise: the more stressed I am in life, the less I have any motivation to workout. It’s sounds completely backwards, I know, but the more stressed I am, the more depressed I become and don’t have a desire to do much of anything (not just exercise, but also no sewing, baking, blogging, and any other activities I normally enjoy). 

So then of course my stressed out self decides to eat tons of junk (there’s logic for ya!), which makes me gain more weight, and then I’m even more stressed and mad at myself, and less and less motivated to workout. I swear it’s sooooo much harder to start working out again after you’ve already lost that weight once,…because I constantly beat myself up with thoughts of “Why do you weigh this much again? And what’s your problem with running today? Because you’ve run soooo much faster than this in the past!” 

August - I decided to get back on track and began running for a couple of weeks, but then I seriously strained my quads. It was extremely painful just to walk! It turns out that because I was only running and not doing any strength training, that my calf muscles had become much stronger than my quads, so every time I ran I was putting more stress on my quads than they could handle. From what I’ve read it’s a fairly common problem among runners, and that’s why they stress the importance of cross training. At the time I really wasn’t in the mood to do any strength training and only felt like running, but I’ve also been really bummed at how I can literally see how much tone and muscle definition I used to have in my arms has all but disappeared and turned super flabo again. Of course at that time I had no choice but to take it easy and let my strained quads fully heal. I couldn’t even jog from the front door of my house to the car without extreme quad pains for 3 weeks. 

September - So then the kids went back to school, I gained another child, my niece (I’m becoming the old woman who lived in a shoe!), and by the middle of this month on Sept. 9th I had climbed all the way back up to 137.2 lbs.!!!!!! Ummm,….yeah. That’s 13-SEVEN.2 pounds you just read! 

Which means after all my hard work, getting all the way down to 125 lbs., toning up, having TONS of energy (which was all gone now!), I had put back on more than 12 lbs.!!!!! TWELVE!!!!!!! YIKES!!!!! All of my clothes have become tight on me again, I’ve had to go back to wearing larger sized pants I pulled out of the box in the closet because most of my jeans are too tight to fit into these days, and I can literally feel the love handles and extra weight hanging on me. I’ve become self conscious about it again and find myself choosing baggier shirts in the closet most days…and I hate that! 

Seeing that number on the scale was a huge wake up call!

OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since then I’ve made some huge changes in my weekly schedule and stress load. While I still don’t have a job, we’re still putting food on the table each night. The kids have settled into the school routine, and while we have really busy schedules, overall things are going well. I realized that aside from church on Sunday mornings and Wed. nights when my kids are in Sunday school classes, I LITERALLY had absolutely ZERO time in my entire 7 day week where I had any time alone, apart from my children…and it was seriously wearing on me! 

So I sat down with Steve and told him that with 5 kids in the house, that for my own sanity’s sake, that I needed to start having dates with myself every week! It doesn’t have to be the same day each week, it could be for an hour or tons longer, I can go wherever I want, do whatever I want to do, etc., but it’s totally kid less time I get to have to myself each week so I can rejuvenate and have some peace of mind. 

He totally agreed and the past few weeks have been amazing! He’s not only supported me with these weekly dates, but also several mini breaks where he takes the kids, or I get to run errands without dragging them along, and we even managed to sneak in an awesome date night ourselves! It’s been wonderful!!!!! And it’s given me the motivation I need to get back on track. 

So, what have I been up to? well, I’ve been extremely disappointed in myself for not completing the P90X program last year, esp. since we made it through 7 weeks. So I’m newly determined to get through it this time! I know, I know, but it’s the only strength training program I’ve ever tried where I feel BEYOND sore within 2 days and see such fast results! 

I have some new goals. I want to lose 15 lbs. which would get me to my goal weight, bring back the toning I miss, and bring back the energy I desperately need. Which now explains the 15 cans of soda. I could've continued with 3 of the 5lbs. bags of sugar imagery, but I was tired of it and wanted something new.

So when you think of an item that weighs 1 lbs., what comes to mind? Well, an average soda can is 16 oz. = 1 pint = 1 lb. So in order to get to my goal weight I now have a total of 15 pounds...or 15 cans of soda to lose. It's hard to imagine how difficult it would be to go through every minute of every day constantly carrying around 15 cans of soda! How incredibly tiring! No wonder I'm so exhausted and unmotivated!

I've packed on an average of 2 lbs. each month for the past 6 months, which is thoroughly depressing! But I'm determined to get rid of it again and get back into the really tone shape I used to have and go even further beyond that!

I've been trying to find the time to post this fitness update for a while now, so I'm happy to report that I just completed week 2! And to catch you up to speed on where I'm at and how it's been going so far, here's a little recap:

***Note: I’m just following the Classic program, but because I miss running too much not to do it, and because that program doesn’t have enough cardio for me, I’m also running a few days per week on top of the P90X program…and that will allow me some more flexibility on changing it up with my runs when the program becomes dull with repetition. I can still work on speed, endurance long distance runs, sprints, etc. Lots of variety! 

Day 1:  October 11, 2010
2.0 mile run – 20:16 min., 10:08 min./mile pace. 
    Treadmill: Good run. 6.1 mph for 5 min., then 6.2 mph until 10 min., 1 min. walk, 6.1 mph until 15 min., then 6.2 mph, 30 sec. walk at 16 min., then gradual increases all the way up to 6.8 mph at the end. Now I'm off to begin P90X day 1! I will look smokin' in 8 weeks from now on my birthday! 

Chest & Back + Ab Ripper X - One down, 89 more days to go! 

Day 2: 
2.0 mile run – 20:22 min., 10:11 min./mile pace. 
    Treadmill: Ran at steady pace 6.1 mph for 10 min., 1 min. walk, then 6.1 mph until 15 min., then gradual increases up to 6.7 mph at the end. Took one other 30 sec. break at 17 min. Feeling a little tired and sore muscles all over from P90x yesterday, now off to do plyo. 

Plyometrics - Feeling a little tired after running 2 miles, but got through most of it. Feeling very sore muscles. 

***By the time I went to bed this night I was EXTREMELY sore all over my upper body! I could barely move without being in a ton of pain! 

Day 3: 
Shoulders & Arms + Ab Ripper X – Took a LOT of convincing to get myself moving today. I'm feeling extreme sore on my upper body, and all the way down to my quads. It was really painful to go to bed last night when the soreness kicked in. But I'm still going! 

Day 4: 
1 mile run – 9:42 min., 9:42 min./mile pace. 
    Treadmill: still lots of sore muscles, but getting better. Wanted to see how fast I could run 1 mile today. Started at 6.2mph and increased 1 point every 2 min., had a small weak moment for about 30 sec. at 6.5 mph, but then started again at 6.5 and increased up to 6.9 mph at the end. Now I need to do the yoga video, finding it hard to stay motivated, esp. with my weird weight increase today (what the frick?) Up to 137 lbs. But I'm still moving!  

Yoga X – I forgot that this workout was actually 1 1/2 hours long! IK did the first 30 min. with me before leaving for soccer practice, and it was pretty intense for him too. I did my best to get through all of it, but it was a tough, long workout! 

Day 5: 
Cardio: Hip Hop Abs, level 2 - I watched some Zumba and Insanity promo videos this morning, and since my right quad is hurting a little today I decided not to run and instead pull out an old Hip Hop Abs Cardio video (level 2). Was totally dripping sweat at the end, but kept up with most all of it. 

Legs & Back + Ab Ripper X – After finishing hip hop abs I took a little break, ate a banana, and then started this workout. Felt okay during the warmups, but as soon as I started the first balance lunges with my foot behind me on the chair I seriously wanted to die! When I got to the sneaky lunges about half way through I swear I looked drunk with my total lack of balance. 

I took some pics to send to my sis who doesn't believe how much weight I've gained, and now I want to throw up when I look at them. Plus I really need to STOP comparing how much better I used to be able to do these videos because it's seriously depressing me. Last night after yoga I took a long, hot bath and while the sore muscles are still there (esp. in my triceps) it's getting better and I can move around more. I'm almost through week 1, so that's encouraging! 

Day 6: 
2.0 mile run – 19:58 min., 9:59 min./mile pace!!! 
    Treadmill: Walked 5 min. at 3.0 mph, then ran at 6.2 mph for 10 min., 1:20min. walk break at 3.0 mph, then ran at 6.2 mph again until I increased to 6.4 mph in the last 30 sec. I'm dripping sweat, warmed up, and ready to go do an hour of Kenpo! 

Kenpo X – My calves and lower back were incredibly sore from yesterday's workout when I got up this morning. I ran a good 2.0 miles this morning and wanted to run longer, but ran out of time in my schedule. Felt good doing Kenpo, I think it's my favorite workout video in this series. I was able to keep up with just about everything, so that felt good. This wraps up my 1st whole week. I haven't decided yet if I want to use day 7 (tomorrow) as a rest day, or if I want to work on a longer distance run. Weight: 135.2 lbs. 

Day 7: Week 1 accomplished! 
3.1 miles (5k) run – 31:30 min., 10:10 min., mile pace. 
    Treadmill: It took an ENORMOUS amount of pep talks in my head to keep moving, and tons of excuses (hadn't eaten much today, tired, hadn't had much water, etc.), but surprisingly I actually made it all the way through the 5k! I ran at 6.2 mph for 10 min., (reached 1 mile in 9:40min.) then 1 min. walk, 6.2 mph again until 2 miles, (reached 2 miles in 19:53 min.), then kept going at 6.2 mph, had to walk 30 sec. at 14 min., then increased 1 point every 30 sec. all the way up to 6.6 mph, but couldn't sustain it too long, had to back down to 6.2 mph for a little bit and then back up to 6.4 mph to finish. So I feel pretty good about my overall time today. Ready to hit week 2! 

Day 8: 
Cardio: Hip Hop Abs, level 2 - It took a little while for me to decide what I wanted to start with today, but I decided to do a big cardio workout. I always feel really dumb doing these exercises, but I'm also dripping with sweat when I'm done, so at least I know it's doing something. 

Chest & Back + Ab Ripper X - Out of all the videos this one is probably  my least favorite in the group, so I wasn't very motivated for it. But I was SHOCKED today at how much I've improved on this video in just 1 week! Last week I was doing about 5-6 reps on every move, I had to do the girly (on your knees) pushups several times, and I was pulling 5 and 8 lbs. weights on all the moves. But today I felt really good and I did at least 10-12 reps on everything and pulled 10 lbs. weights on everything. I even managed to do 8 reps of the divers pushups in both sets! Really encouraging!!!! Last week on Ab Ripper X I could barely get through it. Today was still tough, but I could get through a little more of just about all of it. I REALLY hate the fifer scissors move! It makes me think I'm going to throw out my back every time. But I got through it all and that feels awesome! 

Day 9: 
1 mile run - 9:30 min., 9:30 min., mile pace. 
    Treadmill: Wanted to play with my speeds a little bit. I started at 6.1 mph and then every 1 min. I increased a point to 6.2, 6.3, 6.4, 6.5, 6.6, 6.7, 6.8, then ran into a little trouble for about 30 sec. and had to stop/walk, then started again at 6.8, 6.9, 7.0 and finished at 7.1 mph. Not bad for my time, but it certainly wore me out. 

1 mile run - 9:45 min., 9:45 min., mile pace. 
    Treadmill: After running the 1st mile today increasing my speed at every 1 min. I walked slowly for about 5 min. Then I decided to try another mile with more gradual speed increases but beginning higher than I normally do. I started at 6.3 mph and ran for 4:30 min., then a 30 sec. walk, then 6.4 mph for 1:30 min., then 6.5 mph for 1:30 min., then 6.6 mph for 1 min., then 6.7 and 6.8 mph at the end. Not bad. 

Plyometrics - Oh my word, I'm tired!!! I think those 2 miles I ran before this really took it out of me. I really didn't want to do this workout today, feeling too tired to get through it. But I kept moving and right now I'm glad it's over. I was tired, but still able to get through just a little bit more than I could last week. Now I'm really dragging. I'm gonna take a long, hot bath and let my muscles relax, then I'm going to put the 2 little ones down for a nap...and I might join them. :P 

Day 10: 
Shoulders & Arms, Ab Ripper X - Feeling VERY stressed out today, barely managed to fit in this workout at all, and I'm kind of upset that I couldn't find the time to run because I really needed to burn off some stress! I did even better this week, last week I was pulling mostly 8 lbs. and 5lbs. weights on the lighter moves, but today I pulled mostly 10lbs., 8lbs. on the lighter moves, and only used 5 lbs. twice near the end. I'm doing a little better on Ab Ripper X each time too,...getting through just a little more every time I do it. 

Day 11: 
2.0 mile run - 20:00 min., 10:00 min., mile pace. 
    Treadmill: Ran at 6.2 mph for 10 min., then 1 min. walk, then 6.3 mph again until at 15 min., then 30 sec. walk, then increased to 6.4, 6.5 every 1 1/2 min., then 6.6, 6.7, 6.8 every 30 sec. until the end. Felt tired during, but a great warm up after I was done. I'm off to LA's P/T conference now, but will do yoga when I get back. 

Yoga X - Really challenging to do yoga with 7 children in my house! But like all the other videos I managed to get through it and do a little bit more than last week. 

Day 12: 

Legs & Back - I totally screwed up my diet! First, with ice cream at DQ with EJ, then with a big piece of apple walnut cake in the middle of the night. I'm cramping & bloated, so I'm not going to beat myself up too much about it, just shake it off and keep going. Didn't have time for the Ab Ripper X today because I'm meeting a great friend for lunch (shout out to Vanessa! We should get together more often!), but I did better on this workout compared to last week, tired but got through more of it. Still going, almost through week 2! 

Day 13:  
Kenpo X - Wow, this workout seriously almost didn't happen! I felt very tired today, I think the rainy & cloudy weather had a lot to do with it. Watched a movie with the kids, took a nap in the late in the afternoon, and finally got my butt moving late this evening. The workout didn't feel too difficult, and went by fast. My weight seems to be out of control and still going up! I'm working really hard each day, but I must be taking in way more calories than I realize.

Day 14 - Week 2 DONE! 
1 mile run - 9:47 min., 9:47 min./mile pace
    So I had totally made up my mind that I was going to take today off from working out and have a true rest day since it's rainy & cloudy & gloomy outside, but then my sis called and when I teased her by suggesting she should go eat a really big brownie, she replied and told me she was watching my super fat-a-licious video clip (my words, not hers) and well, she got me. 

And then out of nowhere, the doorbell rings and it's my old trainer, Swede! I haven't seen or talked to him in several months and out of the total blue he just decides to show up because he was in the neighborhood and wanted to say hi?! Okay, cosmos, I get it! Message received loud and clear! 

By the time I finished chatting with my sis & Swede it was late, 9:15pm, but I decided a little bit was better than nothing. I ran at 6.1 mph for 3 min., then 30 sec. walk, then 6.4 mph until 6:30 min., then 30 sec. walk, then ran at 6.5, 6.6, etc. all the way up to 7.1 mph increasing every 30 sec. until the end. Only 1 mile, but enough to get my heart rate up and going. 


Whew! And now you're finally up to date. I know, I know that was a HUGE fitness update! And guess what? It's not over yet. Because I'm committed to sharing my totally real struggles, completely honest journey, I'm once again totally humiliating myself and posting my most recent progress shots.

Remember how I said I took some new photos of me at the beginning of this? (Well, actually it was on Day 5, but close enough). Well, here they are, in all their disgustingness:

From the 1st front shot I thought I wasn't doing too bad, but then I saw the shot from behind,...and what the HECK happened back there????!!!! Seriously, baby got back, and NOT in a good way!!!!

Trying to do my best flex shots too, feel free to leave your computer screen and go vomit. It makes me literally ill to look back at the progress photos of me at this same time a year ago and realize how much better shape I was in back then! Ugh! It kills me!

My sis totally didn't believe me that these are actually new, up-to-date photos of me instead of some old ones, so just to make it brutally honest, I sent her the following little video clip:

Yeah, I must seriously be some kind of extra special stupid to actually be posting these completely humiliating, seriously disgustingly fat photos of myself on my blog! Oiy! 

Either that, or it's because I know that I won't truly become FULLY motivated to lose the weight and get back in shape until I force myself to have such a raw, candid, wake up call on exactly where I'm at and how far I've managed to back slide.

So there it is, in all it's gloriously horrific state. My own little version of the biggest loser, I guess. And if my willingness to share my gross fat struggles can help motivate anyone else, then I'm all for it. It hasn't been an easy road to getting in shape. I'm a real, normal, average person just like you, and it's a HUGE struggle for me to get in shape and STAY that way. I have to WORK at it, constantly, and work REALLY hard!

There's lots and lots of work ahead of me right now, but I'm taking it one day at a time,...and eventually I'll get there.

The End of a Very Long Week

Last week was incredibly long and discouraging for the most part. My husband's been out of town on a business trip that feels much longer than it's actually been, I think mainly because when you're used to having your best friend around to spend time with each night, watch TV, cuddle in bed, just talk, and esp. when you're having a rough week, it all just feels so much more difficult to deal with alone.

I've had the time to blog about this all week, mulling over in my mind many times what I would write, constantly revising my feelings inside my head, but never bringing myself to actually post anything. And kind of on purpose,...because if I had posted my initial feelings it would have been a lot of anger, disappointment, frustration, discouragement, wanting to give up, feeling overwhelmed, feeling defeated, and simply wanting to cry about the stress of it all.

My waiting to hear about the most promising positions I had interviewed for came to an end Wednesday morning when I received 4 separate rejection letters in the same morning.

If I'm being brutally honest, my feelings that morning were a mix of being frickin' pissed and wanting to just bawl my eyes out. Yeah, stronger language...stronger emotions.

I've been on this roller coaster job search for over 15 months now...15 very LOOOONNNNGGGGG months, and I can't begin to describe how challenging this process has been. I've lowered my standards and expectations, I've settled for applying for positions FAR beneath what I'm qualified for purely in the hopes of ending this job hunt and simply securing a measly little paycheck.

I've contacted every resource I possibly can, with VP's, Directors, Sr. Managers and more all sending in phone calls and personal recommendations for me, and STILL it's not enough. To say I'm discouraged doesn't even begin to cover it!

The feelings of discouragement quickly turn into depression, negative thoughts discounting my skills and qualifications as I begin to assume I must not be that great of an employee since no one will hire me. And those feelings quickly compound into a ginormous stress mess ball of worry and fear as I continue to see the calendar ticking so much closer to July while I still don't have a job.

We're barely getting through each week as it is right now,...I mean, barely, and I'm scared to death to think of what will happen if July shows up and I'm still stuck in this current situation.

***************************************************

I felt as if I had reached a point where my spirit was so low, where my soul felt so completely drained of all hope,...and I had a decision to make. I needed to do something.

That night, as I was laying in bed flipping through the channels on TV late in the evening, I came across one of the several local Christian channels and watched a program from Joyce Meyer, an extremely well known Christian speaker and author.

I've read a few of her books over the years and been a huge fan of her straight talk, down to the heart of it, preaching style for many years.

That night her message was exactly what I needed to hear, as she focused on the Bible passages:

Matthew 7:7-8 

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." 

James 4:2b

"You do not have, because you do not ask."

Joyce's message was all about how WE try to do everything for ourselves, how we try to fix everything and make everything happen, and then become upset when it doesn't work out. But the one thing we haven't done is pray about it. And that most of the time we end up carrying a heavy burden God never intended for us to carry in the first place.

And as I thought about it, I realized that I've done everything I can possibly think to do in order to find a job, practically begging so many other people for help, but I haven't stopped to pray about it.

Joyce went on to not only talk about how God wants to help us if we will just pray about it, because we're in this partnership with God...where he has a part to do, and we have a part: our part is to pray about it, and God's part is to provide a solution. She said of course God doesn't need us to pray about it, He can do whatever he wants, but this is the method He likes to use.

She also went on to talk about feeling frustrated, discouraged, and depressed, and how God says in Phil. 4:13 that he will give us the strength to get through every circumstance and that we're never in any situation where we should feel alone because in Hebrews 13:5 he said "never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

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The next day, as I sat down at my computer I looked up the Joyce Meyer website, and before I could even begin to browse very far at all, my eyes were drawn to a section that was titled "Everyday Answers" and just below that it read "Encouragement in Difficult Times."

I clicked on the link and it brought me to a page where there were 6 video clips of Joyce speaking on what to do when you're in these circumstances. I wish I could embed some direct links, but you can find the videos here.

I sat there and began to watch the videos one by one...and ended up watching all 6 of them that afternoon. I wrote down some notes, I cried through some of them, and I forced myself to shut up for a moment and just listen,...just absorb all the information I was hearing and spend some time contemplating on all of it.

There's far too much I got out of those videos than I could possibly begin to recount here. It's absolutely worth your time to go here and watch these videos, esp. if you're struggling with something right now.

But, just to give you a tiny glimpse of what I took from it, here's some of the notes I jotted down:

---to count it all as joy doesn't mean it all feels joyful right now, but instead you choose to look forward to the point where you know it will be, and you're choosing to have faith that God is working on the situation now.

---don't over think your problems. You'll find yourself in the paralysis of analysis: where you become paralyzed because all you ever do is analyze everything to death.

---instead, even though I don't see anything happening or changing in my circumstances, I will refuse not to believe that God is working on the situation!

---choose to remain a prisoner of HOPE.

---the devil will do everything he can to beat us up in thought after thought reminding us of every single thing we've ever done wrong in an attempt to keep us paralyzed in fear, worry, and self doubt...but I need to simply remember that I am a child of God and He is taking care of me.

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Trying to decide which one of my mix of feelings (pissed or wanting to cry) felt stronger, I decided to do something positive to release some of my frustrations, so I actually watched the last 2 of those 6 videos while running on my treadmill on Thursday afternoon.

The weather was stupid and cold all week long, but I was also very sick and tired of feeling miserably out of shape, and beating myself up even further over that, so I decided my treadmill was a good alternative to the cold weather, and I started running just to see what I could do.

And I set a goal, to run a farther distance than I've ever gone before...in whatever amount of time it would take, I was going to run a total of 7 miles.

Thursday: 7 miles = 80:05 min., 11:26 min./mile pace

I did it! I actually ran a total of 7 whole miles!!!! Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was tiring and took all of my strength and energy to get through it. Yes, there was a huge argument, a huge war of words and  constant back and forth persuasion running rampant through my mind as I struggled to  maintain the determination to keep running. 

Yes, I had to take several walking breaks, lower my speeds, and I finished at an average pace that's much slower than I'm used to...but I didn't quit, I didn't give up.

I haven't been running consistently the past few months, so I somewhat expected the slower pace, esp. as I was increasing my total distance. I wasn't discouraged at the end of that run. I was exhausted, but I felt great. I felt very encouraged by this new accomplishment.

Then on Friday I set out to do it again...to run another 7 miles on my treadmill.

I turned the treadmill away from facing the wall toward the computer and went back to the Joyce Meyer website where I discovered she has a TON of her messages from conferences on her site where you can click on tons of the videos and watch them here.

Friday: 7miles = 77:02 min., 11:00 min./mile pace

I did it again!!!! But this time I not only ran 7 more miles, I also beat my previous time by 3 whole minutes!!!! That's HUGE!!!!

And it felt awesome! I continued to flood my brain full of messages from Joyce. I watched the videos:

01/02/10 - Living Without Frustration 

02/05/10 - Trusting God

01/31/10 - Intimacy With God

02/08 - 02/10/10 - I Am Relentless, parts 1, 2, and 3

And several more videos since they're all about 28 min. long. I felt very accomplished, very encouraged, as I fed my starved spirit with positive words and promises from God.

I debated whether or not to run again the next day, worried that I might be disappointed if my tired legs didn't continue to impress me with even better results. But when I woke up that morning, I was still really in the mood to run.

So I did, with the goal to complete just 4 miles, figuring that would be good enough considering this was day 3 running consistently and I typically run every other day and mix things up with strength training so I don't over do it on my legs.

But when I got to 4 miles I wasn't completely exhausted, and realizing I was more than 1/2 way to 7 miles at that point I decided to keep going...all the while watching more Joyce Meyer broadcasts and shutting up, just listening, and trying to absorb the messages, contemplating on the applications of them in my life.

Saturday: 7 miles = 75:50 min., 10:50 min./mile pace

I was SHOCKED!!!!! This was the 3rd day in a row that I had run a FULL seven miles!!! I've never run that far before!!! With the 5.2 miles I ran on Tues. I had now run a total of 26.2 miles in 1 week...that's exactly the length of a marathon (of course I did it over 4 separate days, but all in the same week!).

Once again I beat my previous run time by another 1:10 minutes!!! Each day the run was very difficult, but yet just a little bit better each time. More encouraging, and yet more challenging at the same time, striving to continue to beat my previous run times.

During the last mile on Sat. as I was running it felt like I was developing a big blister on one of my toes on my right foot. When I finally finished running and took off my shoe and sock as I headed into the shower, I discovered I had kind of run so hard my toenail had almost been dislocated from my foot!!!

The blister was so bizarre! It was perfectly situated directly beneath my toenail on the 2nd toe, so that as it was swollen up with fluid my nail was stretched a good 1/2 centimeter away from my toe, throbbing in pain. It hurt to walk, it was sore and very tender, and it seemed so ridiculous that a little blister could hurt so bad! I'd never heard of a blister that could remove your toenail from your toe???!!!

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I used the sharp point of a safety pin to pop the blister in 4 separate places...yeah...that's how HUGE it was! The liquid gushed out of my toe and I felt some relief, although it was still throbbing in pain.

I know this is gross,...sorry about that. This morning when I woke up my blister had swollen back up about halfway, and today I've had to pop it a couple more times throughout the day to relieve the pressure of my nail being pulled apart from where it should be located.

It's a good thing I planned today to be a rest day where I didn't workout, and tomorrow I really need to do some strength training and get in an intense core workout to focus on my flabby abs and love handles. Then I'll run again on Tuesday and plan to put in another 7 miles.

I'm planning to gradually continue to increase my total distance over the next couple of months, slowly building myself up to a half marathon distance, which is 13.1 miles, because I'm still planning to run in my very first half marathon in July, which is just a little more than 4 months away,...and I want my total pace and total run time to be much better than it is right now.

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I took a break from job hunting the rest of the week,...my brain needed the time off,...my spirit needed the time of rest and renewal.

Do I have any new answers? No.

Do I see anything new happening or changing in my circumstances? No.

But for now I'm praying about it, I'm completely switching my focus to trusting in God and having a faith big enough to know that even though I can't see it, I know that God has a plan for me, that He's working on it right now, and I'm going to keep trusting in Him. 

I'm choosing to recharge my tired, worn our spirit...because sometimes we just need to remember to rejuvenate ourselves.

And already I'm seeing little spectacular moments and enormous blessings in other areas of my life and in my days. Even in the stupid little Dove dark chocolate wrapper quotes:

"If you can imagine, then you can achieve."

"Celebrate the small victories in your life."

"If you fail, learn, and move on, you're growing."

I am a child of God, and He is taking care of me. 

I don't know what the answer is, I don't know where I'm headed, but I do know that I'm choosing to trust in God, lean not on my own understanding, and instead follow His leading,.

I'm choosing to have a deep enough faith to know that as I'm faithful in my walk with Him, that He will be faithful to me, and worrying, being frustrated, and becoming discouraged are emotions I will continue to fight each day.

Impossible?

I actually watched a movie today called "Entry Level" starring D.B. Sweeny (the guy from the old 80's ice skating movie) and it was actually a really funny movie all about being unemployable.

Unemployable...it turns out that's an actual word these days. It means that you're not only not able to land a job, but you're not even getting offers for any interviews either,...as in no one's even calling when they glance at your resume. Hmmmph.

The movie follows Sweeny who is 38 years old and has been in business for himself for many years running his own restaurants, but due to some bad circumstances his business goes under and he then goes through a series of funny interviews for lower than grunt, entry level positions and finds out in the process he's extremely unemployable. 

He's forced to completely swallow his pride, humiliate himself, and provide tons of answers mustering completely fake enthusiasm for many different jobs, only to be turned away from them all. 

I wasn't sure at first if it was really a good idea for me to watch this movie, but it turned out to be a really funny and cute movie and didn't really depress me any further on the whole job situation. If anything, it simply reminded me that:

a) I'm far from the first person in history to have to humble myself, swallow my pride, and do everything I can do to try to obtain a job I believe is well below my skills and qualifications,

b) Any job I end up obtaining is not what defines me, I'm a wife and mom first and what I end up doing for a living is only the means by which I manage to pay the bills and support my family...because they're my real job.

c) A lower level position doesn't last forever, and this is just a temporary solution while I continue to look for something much better.

I used to have a picture up on the wall in my home for many years that said, "The Impossible is Often the Untried." I really like that quote and it's been a belief I've agreed with when it comes to so many things in life.

Lately I've heard it phrased slightly different as, "Impossible isn't a real word,...it's just an excuse not to try."

The concept applies to so many, many things...not just the job situation, but all my fitness goals are another great example. Last year at this time running a 5k seemed to me to be physically impossible. Now, I run them several times per week. The whole job situation will not be impossible for me either...it might not start out the way I want it to, but it's not impossible.

Speaking of fitness, since I'm strangely unmotivated to spring clean any more areas of my home, I decided to take out some aggression on my treadmill earlier today. And while the run was still very difficult, I managed to knock another 45 seconds off my time and run at faster speeds through some of it, so I'm still making progress.

Treadmill 5k (3.1 miles) = 31:15 min., 10:05 min./mile pace

It's getting just a little bit better every time I run. The sun finally came out today (thank you!!!!) and I'm actually considering going outside and running another 5k while I have the chance to be out in the sunshine. There's nothing like running outside.

That, or I'll get to a bunch of overdue housecleaning....meh. I'd much rather be running!

Little Improvements Each Day

Back up on the treadmill today, my overall time and pace still totally sucked in comparison to what I was capable of running just a few months ago, but it was 1:12 min. faster than last Sat.'s treadmill run, so that's progress and I'll take it.

Treadmill 5k (3.1 miles) = 32:00 min., 10:19 min./mile pace

So again, not my best run by any means, but I'm determined to get back up to the level I was at...soon! I think I've pretty well decided what my next race will be, a local half marathon in July. It should be a really good half marathon to start out with because the majority of the course is all on greenbelt bike paths in Boise, which is lined with tons of pretty trees and parks to look at, runs right next to the river, and has lots of shady spots, so it's an enjoyable area to run through.

When I asked SD if he would do it with me he very casually said sure. We haven't been working out together at all lately, but he has been playing basketball at work a couple times per week. Hopefully the stupid winter weather will quickly come to an end so we can find a lot more time to run outside again.

So now that we have a race in mind, that gives us just about 5 months to train and prepare for it. Exciting! And best of all, it's motivating!

In the meantime, I've got a roast in the oven for dinner, laundry's going, and I've been spending some time brushing up on my Excel skills (vlookups, pivot tables, really complicated formulas, etc.) in prep for my interview next week. I also need to brush up on a lot of basic accounting terms and definitions to make sure I'm fully prepared for any more of those type interview questions.

And I've received 5 more rejection letters in the past 2 days and turned in 2 more new applications, so the job hunt continues. Today I'm off to buy something to wear to my interview on Monday.

Starting All Over

Or at least that's what it feels like. Yep, it's finally a fitness update!

Despite our best efforts and strong determination to keep going, SD and I finally gave up on P90X after week seven. I really, really, REALLY did not want to be just another person who's tried and given up on that program!

But when we reached that part of the program we had come to a point where we had gone through every video at least once, so there were no more exciting new videos to look forward to, and then it just became a ton of boring repetition.

That combined with all the winter blues that cold, cloudy, gloomy skies, yucky winter weather naturally brings, and all the frustration over the whole depressing job situation, has made it all that more difficult to find any motivation to work out at all lately.

I've thought about working out many, many times, but not doing it of course leads to more depressing, de-motivated thoughts,...

...which of course leads to feeling like I have less and less energy to get up and move at all,...

...which has led me back to gaining a solid 5 lbs., which means most days I'm back up to 130 lbs., which leads to even more depressing thoughts as I'm pretty sure I can actually feel myself getting fatter and much more out of shape each day,...

...so then when I do try to workout, everything of course feels SO much harder to do than it used to, I feel tired more quickly, I feel more worn out than I used to, I can't run as fast as I KNOW I can run, and then of course I get really mad at myself and discouraged when I see those much slower run times because I know I can do all of this better than what my body is telling me,...AAARRRGGGGG!!!!!

So that explains why it feels like in some ways I'm starting ALL OVER again,...and I hate that feeling!

I think part of my lack of motivation has been because of my lack of accountability...I'm not logging or recording anything as far as foods I eat, run times, exercises, etc. plus I still haven't decided what race(s) I want to try to run this year.

And for me, as someone who's extremely goal oriented and highly motivated by pressing deadlines, I really need to have that race goal off in the distance...something that I know is coming and I need to be in shape for,...something I actually paid good money to register for,...coming so I can force myself to get my lazy bum up and moving.

So today I'm doing my best to pick up where I left off and get back in shape once again. Here I go!

I just finished running on my treadmill, which felt ridiculously hard like I was about to die! I ran 5k in 33:12 min., 10:43 min./mile pace.

That time sounds totally awful to me, esp. since I know I can run MUCH faster than that! Or at least, I should be able to if I hadn't stopped working out. UGH!!!!

I seriously have NO interest in going back to the days in the beginning where I had to keep a spreadsheet of every single little thing I ate, because I know how to eat healthy now. But I have stopped drinking tons of water, and I really need to get back in that habit, so that's item #1.

I also need to get back into logging and recording my run times, that way I can encourage and motivate myself more by seeing those time improvements. So I'm going to start recording my run times again and posting them though LogYourRun on my sidebar.

One of my running buddies asked me last week if I had been running lately & I said no. He said he hadn't been running much either and he could feel how out of shape he was starting to feel, so he got outside and has started running between 3-5 miles each day for a week,...and now 1 week later he already feels so much stronger.

So that sounded awesome and for now I'm just going to try to see if I can get through 1 little week and go from here, after I hopefully see how much better I feel then.

And I need to spend some time looking around more to figure out what my next race will be? No idea yet. I'm not sure if I want to start with another 10k and then build myself up with a few more months of training before I attempt my first half marathon?

With as out of shape as I feel these days that sounds like a good plan for now. We'll see. For today, I ran 3.1 miles in what my mind says is an awful time, but hey, I got back up and started moving around, and that's good enough for now. Next time will be better, and each time will get a little bit easier, right?

Week 5 and Still Going

I haven't posted nearly as many exercise updates as I've wanted to lately, but the good news is we're still going with the whole P90X project!

We did miss about 3 workouts around the beginning of wk 4 in the program because we had LA's school Christmas program to attend, we felt totally exhausted one night, and it was the last big weekend for me to finish my MBA.

[Side note: I received my final grade for my last class: 95.3% A, which means I finished up my MBA program with a cumulative 3.80 gpa! Booyah! Now I just have to wait to receive my diploma in the mail. Oh yeah, and the whole get a job thing.]

Even though we missed a couple of days, we shook it off and decided not to beat ourselves up about it, but instead to just keep going, and that's what we've done.

We've now transitioned from the schedule for the first month, followed by a 1 week change up where we were introduced to the Core Synergistics workout and more Yoga...which is so unbelievably difficult! Way more intense than I ever expected yoga to be!

And now we're in the middle of week 5, which has a whole new schedule and several new workouts. The biggest change is that we've switched from the classic version of the program we followed in the first month to follow the doubles version of the program which incorporates an intense Cardio workout 3 days per week.

Since we haven't been doing any running lately (due to cold weather and the long time commitments to follow the P90X program) we've missed that heavy cardio effect we usually get from running, and since I really want to try to lose those last 5 pounds by the end of the year, we're becoming even more insane by following this new schedule:

Day 1: Cardio X, Chest, Shoulders & Triceps, Ab Ripper X

Day 2: Plyometrics (jump training)

Day 3: Cardio X, Back & Biceps, Ab Ripper X

Day 4: Yoga

Day 5: Cardio X, Legs & Back, Ab Ripper X

Day 6: Kenpo

Day 7: Rest or X Stretch

Just to give you a better idea of how crazy intense this program is, the Cardio X video is 42 min. long, followed by one of the 3 videos on Day 1, 3, and 5 that are all 58 min. long, followed by a 16 min. abs video...All in ONE night!!!!

Plyometrics and Kenpo are also hour long videos, and the Yoga is 1 1/2 hours long, so following this program really takes a big time commitment.

SD and I took some updated photos at the 30 day mark, but the physical changes you can see are very minimal at this point, so I don't feel like they're even worth posting yet. Most of the before & after shots I've seen of people going through this program start to show really big changes between the 45-60 days mark.

What we have noticed is a LOT more strength in both of us, a LOT more physical abilities in how many reps of every exercise we can actually complete in each video (a little more each time we go through it), and SD has continued to lose weight.

Since he started running with me this summer, he's just about lost a total of 20 lbs. this year! My weight the past several days has fluxed mainly around 128 lbs., and I think it's because I'm building more muscle right now, so the scale isn't moving, but my body has definitely been changing.

We've also discovered some interesting new benefits the changes in our physical shapes have created. Ever heard of a runner's high? It's that euphoric feeling you get near the end of a grueling, long run where you all of a sudden feel this huge rush of energy,...hence the term "runner's high."

Well, imagine experiencing that physical high with your spouse right along side you, also hot and dripping in sweat, and let's just say that grueling exercise can be some excellent foreplay!

Now thinking along those lines, and add to that the new muscle strength and flexibility we've both developed, and well...we've always had a very healthy s*x life, and after more than 15 years of marriage I thought there really was almost nothing we haven't ever tried, but now with the physical changes we're making, well, let's just say there are, ahem, still new things to discover.

And now you know what my husband's motivation is for going through all of this daily physical torture with me...and that's all the details a lady can share about that.

Tonight is Day 3 of the week 5 schedule listed above, and my whole body is already sore, my triceps, ribs, back, quads, knees, and calves are all feeling it today...but that's good because it tells me it's working, right?

As difficult as it all seems sometimes, seeing the physical changes in both of us is really exciting and motivating, and often KW will come along and add a little humor to break up the seriousness of it all when he chimes in and tries to do the videos with us!

There's still so much of this program I'm nowhere near in physical shape enough to do, but that's also encouraging and challenging goals to look forward to. I can't wait to see where we're at by the end of these 90 days!

Hey, Guess what?

It turns out that our friends Scott and Christa took just a couple of pictures of us from the B2B 10k and still had them! The photos are pretty tiny, but it's all I have for now.

Oh, and it turns out that it was apparently a really bad joke that SD's brother deleted the photos he took of us that day. There's still no finish line shots, but one of these days I might actually have a few more photos of our crazy day to share.

For now, here's what I've got. Here we are making our way into the stadium, I'm waving to my girls and SD's doing some kind of silly dance:

Hey look! It's a picture of random "Let's Do This!" guy just ahead of us in the orange jacket. And I'm clearly exhausted at this moment.

 

Next up, all of SD's awesome race wounds!

 

 

 

And a great shot of us at the end. I really wish the resolution was larger on these shots, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

 

Whenever I get the other photos I'll be sure to share them too.

A Change of Pace - P90X

Now that winter is here and I'm no longer training with Swede, SD and I have decided to change things up a little for the next few months. Instead of the strength training exercises 3 days per week and running 3 days per week I've been doing, we're switching gears and have begun the P90X video series.

If you've never heard of it, you can check it out here or Google P90X and it will bring up some short videos you can watch to get a feel for it. It's a very popular video workout series that's supposed to be incredibly intense. We have several friends going through the program, and a few who have already completed it. A friend was very generous and gave us a free copy of the videos.

When it comes to winter weather...I absolutely HATE it! So I needed to find something different to do over the next few months while I'm thoroughly frustrated that my time for running outside is severely limited by stupid cold weather. I'm still running once per week with Scott and Christa outside if the weather permits, but nothing extreme, just enough to get in a good cardio workout and spend some time with friends.

The new plan is to go through the P90X video series, which is 13 weeks long, to focus on building lots more muscle definition and overall toning and body sculpting while hopefully losing those last few pounds. The program is really not intended to be a really big weight loss type of program. You'll lose some weight, but it's more about toning & muscle definition. It's also more advanced than some other workout programs out there, so they have a pre-fit test you go through to measure and see if you can do several exercises at a minimum before beginning the program. Otherwise they recommend getting in a little better shape first before attempting this program.

Then, the way the program works is you go through a series of different video exercises, a different video every day, 6 days per week with 1 day for rest. The main underlying premise of the program is constant muscle confusion or muscle shock. Unlike many other fitness programs that are effective in the beginning, the programs eventually don't work as well because your body gets used to the movements and exercises and you end up reaching a point where you plateau in your weight loss and fitness results.

Instead the P90X program is designed to continually keep your body confused, always changing up the various workouts so you never reach that plateau level where the workouts become much less effective. The program is very flexible to each individual's pace, which is really nice because you don't feel so completely defeated when you can't keep up with as many reps as the people on the videos.

The videos also change every few weeks throughout the program, so it's not just 6 different videos for the same 13 weeks, nope...the weekly videos also change throughout those 3 months. So we've just completed week 1 in the program, which means we've done videos focusing on:

Day 1: Chest & Back, Ab Ripper X

Day 2: Plyometrics

Day 3: Shoulders & Arms, Ab Ripper X

Day 4: Yoga

Day 5: Legs & Back, Ab Ripper X

Day 6: Kenpo

Day 7: Rest

There are more videos in the series, but we're not to that part yet. Each video is just about an hour long, plus the Ab Ripper X video which is about 16 min. long and repeated 3 times per week.

We usually don't feel too bad after the workout...it's usually not until the next day that all the soreness really sets in! So after day 1 which was filled with an hour worth of various kinds of pull ups, push ups, and lifting weights with your arms, SD and I were both really sore in all our upper body areas! The sides of my ribs felt like I had really deep bruises all over!

I was impressed with how much I felt the muscle soreness, because it reminded me of every time Swede would change up my strength training workouts and I would always feel really sore the next day like I had been beaten up by a gang of thugs or something.

After day 2 my legs and lower body matched my upper body in pain and it hurt to walk. We complained about all the soreness and pain all week, and joked about eating bowls of Advil for dinner as we griped and pushed our way through the first week.

The only day we missed a video was on day 4, because it was Thanksgiving and we were in the middle of madness preparing to host a huge last minute dinner. At the end of the week we felt pretty good about how much we managed to get through. Obviously this is just our first week, so there's many exercises we really can't do well, or can't complete all of the reps to, etc.

SD's least favorite exercises were the Kenpo and Ab Ripper X videos and he enjoyed the Shoulders & Arms video the most. My least favorite video was on day 1 with Chest & Back because my upper body strength is much weaker than my lower body strength, and my favorite video was the Plyometrics...despite how INCREDIBLY difficult it was (they say on the video it's the toughest in the set) because I really like the faster paced workouts much more than the slower ones.

So just to keep track of our results a little more, in addition to going through the pre-fit test to measure how much we could do at the beginning vs. how much we'll be able to do at the end of the program, we also took some before shots as the program directed in 6 different poses.

These are our awful "before" shots, so keep that in mind and applaud our bravery. I don't have permission to post SD's before shots yet, so for now you'll have to wait to see those. Maybe he'll be more inclined to share them after we can see some noticeable results in 30 or 60 days? But here are mine...where I'm at right now as we start this program:

 

 

 

 

 

Considering my original before photos from back in January, these before shots honestly don't seem that bad. But at the same time I'm incredibly excited to see just how much more of a difference I'll be able to make over the next 3 months!

Going through the program together is making a huge difference in our motivation to actually do the videos every day, esp. with how sore we feel right now. We haven't decided yet when we'll take some updated fitness photos? Maybe at the 30, 60, 90 days points throughout the program?

We're already eating pretty healthy and have those habits established from getting into fitness all year, so we're not following any new specific diets along with the program, just continuing what we're already doing. As far as weight loss and current weight? Well, I was doing INCREDIBLY well and actually managed to get down to 125.0 lbs. for a little over a whole week (I actually saw 124.8 lbs. one morning!).

But then we went away on a weekend retreat where we ate a lot and sat around a lot, and then Thanksgiving happened right after that, so now I'm all the way back up to 129.0 lbs. Aaaaccccckkkkk!!!!!

So this week I'm going to focus on getting back into more normal eating habits, drinking more water again, and getting better sleep (the whole sleep schedule tends to get out of whack on Thanksgiving break too).

I'll try to post more frequent updates on how the program is going. As I wrap up school in 2 more weeks, Dec. *should* be a much less stressful month! Here we go! Wish us luck!