So Indecisive

I'm finding myself pretty laughable lately with how incredibly back and forth my thoughts continue to be each day. The last time I posted anything I had come to a decision to get really crafty & see what kind of income potential that might bring.

And then for the past week I've been totally against that whole idea, spending a lot of time filling out tons of new job applications, updating my LinkedIn profile (it's basically just like Facebook or MySpace, but for business connections), and doing my best to strategize new ways to save money.

I'm really, REALLY struggling with finding ways to remain positive during this incredibly LONG job hunt and time of unknowns, waiting, without any clear answers or new direction and just continuing to live my life in limbo wondering when I'll ever get a job and where?

To date this month I have applied for 14 various positions and have received rejection letters for 5 of them, the rest I'm still waiting to hear about, if I hear anything at all. I am SO sick of talking about this! Let alone living it.

I'm fighting the strong temptation to become incredibly depressed and stressed out about the whole thing. I know I'm doing absolutely everything I can possibly do to get hired, it's just a matter of continuing to wait and trust that God has a plan for me...most days that's mush easier said or thought than actually done.

I haven't had any motivation to do anything crafty lately. None. And very little motivation to keep up with any exercise lately too. And I know all the gray, cloudy, rainy, depressing winter weather sure isn't helping things any. 

I just wish someone would hurry up and hire me already so we could move forward with our lives out of this limbo land and start working toward paying off debts, helping our kids through college, etc.

This past week I've started diving into the crazy world of couponing to see what kind of an impact I can try to make on our monthly grocery expenses. I'm learning a lot and reading up on all the tips so I can try to be more educated about where all the great sales are and how I can make the most out of stretching those dollars.

I was up late one night earlier this week and managed to catch a really good message from Joyce Meyers on one of the local Christian TV stations. It was awesome and really made me realize just how badly I've missed being involved in a weekly women's Bible study series...I soooo need to hear those messages to get me through my week!

In the meantime, I rearranged my living room yesterday for the millionth time, and now I'm off to eat some GF sweet & sour chicken...mmmm!

Idle Hands

So after tons of thoughts back and forth on the subject, first inside my own head for the past several months, and then more recently with some family and friends, I've decided to give the whole etsy thing a try. 

I had a long conversation with SD about it the other day to get his opinion, because I don't want him to think my attention to all this crafty stuff is in any way my attempt at trying not to find a job, but rather it's my hope that it might give me something to do at home that could bring in a little bit extra each month to help pay a few little bills in the meantime while I continue to hunt for a "normal" job. And that as soon as that happens I will put all this stuff aside and it will once again become more of a side hobby/fun crafty stuff. 

He said he knows I've been doing everything I possibly can to find a job, and he thinks that the whole idle hands concept comes to mind here with having a backup plan of at least trying to make some income from home is a great idea to give me a plan, a goal in mind, and something to help keep me busy and focused while still trying to find a job. 

I also talked to him about my feelings of slight embarrassment about the whole idea, esp. in comparison to how I think many of my former colleagues in the accounting world would perceive this idea. They're in the world of big corporate business, and I feel like mentioning what I'm doing these days trying to open up my own little crafty shop from home would make me such a laughing stock to them. 

When I quit working in that realm 6 years ago and put my career on hold to stay home with my kids it was perceived as very admirable, and many other working moms told me they were somewhat jealous because they'd love to be with their kids too, but financially just couldn't make it work. 

But the whole idea of going back to work or doing anything business related from their perspective is all about "bigger is better." There's so much competition to be constantly impressing everyone with how much more you've advanced, higher degrees, higher salaries, better jobs titles, etc. They all want to know what you're doing these days and they expect to be impressed with your response. 

At which SD said to me "who cares what they think," which I agree with to some extent, but at the same time they were my group of colleagues and close friends for a very long time, and it's hard to truly get to the point where you don't care what they think. I guess I would just feel much better about the whole thing if I wait to mention anything until after I am making any money,...IF I can actually make anything substantial. 

On the flip side of that, I've decided I really have just about nothing to lose here in giving this whole thing a try. I have so many crafty supplies already, so I'm going to try to make several items only from what I already have,...see if there's actually any interest in them,...see if they'll actually sell, and then go from there. I'm not willing to give myself permission to buy a bunch of new crafty stuff and go crazy in Joann's if it won't sell. 

As far as setting up my shop, figuring out shop policies, shipping, etc. I've done all of that before, so that's no big deal, just a little time consuming to set up again. So lately I've been spending a bunch of time working on some prototypes for my new shop. Since I've been tossing this idea around in my head for months, I've been considering what items I would make for a while now. 

All the Christmas sewing I did (I still have 2 projects left to blog about) were kind of a big trial run for me in trying to determine what items I like vs. what items I like to actually make...and make many of them vs. which items might actually sell well with a worthwhile net profit after all the costs of making the items, selling fees on etsy and through Paypal, etc. 

I've finally narrowed those items down to what I want to try to sell in my shop, and now the past few days I've spent designing my own ideas, figuring out all the measurements, writing out all my patterns, deciding on fabric color combinations, and actually making initial prototypes. 

Combine with all of that my usual schedule of baking gluten free stuff all the time, cleaning house, taking care of 4 kids, and spending time with SD, and well, it's been a slow and steady process. I think all of the initial planning and design phases are really the most time consuming. Once I finally have all the measurements and patterns tweaked and totally figured out so I can just follow them straight through, it really doesn't take near as much time to make the actual items. 

So, what am I actually making? Well, several really fun items, but I think I'm going to keep them quiet until I'm ready to actually open up my shop. But everything is something that's actually useful and purposeful. 

In the meantime I'm really excited about all the cool stuff I'm working on and also really excited because tonight my dad is flying in for a visit! The last time I saw my dad was back in the summer of 2007 at KW's baby dedication, so it's been 2 1/2 years and I'm really excited to have this chance to visit with him. 

Our family is so spread out, and during the few times we do actually manage to visit it's usually all combined with several people at once, which can make it hard to spend quality time catching up with everyone in such a short amount of time, so it's going to be so great to have this one on one time with him. My kids are unbelievably excited for him to visit! They seriously cannot wait! Me too! 

So I've got a couple of crafty items to finish up this morning, and all the last minute house cleaning of course to get to. I know it's going to be a wonderful week!

Enjoying the Long Weekend

I'm off being really crafty, with tons of fun and exciting new ideas in the works...

...be back soon, I promise!

Hallelujah!!!!!!

Yesterday the kids and I went to the dentist for our regular 6 month cleanings. 

I'm pretty sure, no matter how good your teeth are, that no one really likes going to the dentist. Because they'll always, inevitably end up telling you something you still need to work on. This time I was more worried and dreading this visit than I ever have been before. 

You might remember (or not) that the last time I took the kids to the dentist 6 months ago we walked in for cleanings and walked out with a whopping $2,000 bill that our craptaculous dental insurance doesn't cover! 

I did my best to prepare myself for whatever horrific shock might be coming my way this time as I waited for the dentist to come in, hoping it wouldn't be as severe as last time and knowing tax return filings are coming up soon. 

Well, he finally came over to my room and said hello. As he was washing his hands he told me that the kids teeth were looking pretty good. 

Surprised, I said, "really? how many of them have you checked so far?" 

He said all of them...and NO ONE had ANY cavities!!!!!!!! 

I was completely SHOCKED and seriously did not believe him for at least 5 more minutes of further questioning (stuff like, are you sure? You looked at my kids, right?). At which he assured me a few more times that nobody had ANY cavities...NONE!!! 

Then he said, whatever it is that we're doing differently we should keep doing it. 

I was blown away!!! No follow up appointments to schedule to take care of additional dental work I know insurance won't cover. Nope. Nothing, just a see you in 6 months! The gals at the front desk were totally shocked too! 

When we got in the car I screamed for joy! I was so elated to know that all 5 of us walked out of there with NO big, bad, scary, stressful new bills...just our copays, which I think has been raised to $25 per person this year, but still $125 is WAY easier to manage than $2,000 out of the blue! 

The kids and I were so thrilled that when SD got home I decided to trick him with the huge surprise too. 

SD: "I tried to call this afternoon, but missed you guys, I didn't know you were out today."

Me: "Yeah, sorry about that, we were at the dentist for our 6 month cleanings...which reminds me, I need to talk to you about that."

SD: "Really? Great."

Me: "Well, you remember how bad it was the last time we went to the dentist, right?"

SD: "Yeah."

Me: "Well, today's visit was even MORE shocking than last time."

SD: "How bad is it this time?"

Me: (unable to keep my poker face any longer, I began to smile) "Zero cavities for all 5 of us!!!"

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!

  

So trying to figure out what we've been doing differently, at first I couldn't come up with an answer,...because my kids aren't the best brushers and it usually takes tons of reminders from me.

But the one thing I do know we've been doing much differently for the past 9 months is eating gluten free,...which naturally means my kids have been eating FAR less candies, sweets, fast food, and tons of packaged/processed goodies simply because we can't have that stuff anymore.

It turns out that poor enamel and tooth problems have been researched and related to gluten too! So cutting out all the gluten from our diets has made a tremendous improvement in our teeth...and in our wallet!!!

One more justification to be gluten free!!!

Those Winter Blues

What is it about this time of year? Every day is dark, cloudy, and gloomy. The weather lately has been filled with lots of cold and rain, adding to all the gloominess.

The warm, bright, happy sunshine seems so absent for so much of the days,...which explains why so many people have the winter blues.

I started to think I was the only one, and maybe it's something I go through every year at this time because of the weather, but then I read several other blogs from friends like this one and found out I'm not the only one feeling so glum and longing and dreaming for spring and summer to hurry up and get here!

Looking back at my blog from January last year I could see where I started to get into these down days then too.

As hard as I've been trying to keep my spirits up and remain optimistic, the truth is most days the thoughts about where in the world I'm going to find a job and solve this stress mess once and for all, are often not that far from my mind most of the time.

It doesn't help any that the news loves to report almost every night on the constantly increasing unemployment rate in Idaho and what new businesses instituted layoffs for the day.

I tried to pursue the idea of becoming an on-line instructor at UOP now that I've completed my master's, hoping that might be an option while I continue to look for work. But as it turns out you have to have completed your MBA at least 2 years ago in order to teach at the graduate level, and at the associate level they don't have any openings for the areas I could teach (math, statistics, accounting, business, economics, etc.) at this time.

I've heard absolutely nothing from all 7 of the jobs I applied for earlier this month and there haven't been ANY new openings to apply for lately.

I was in a meeting on Sunday with several people at church and one of the guys there mentioned his current internship working with the teens (a 3 yr. training/mentorship program) will be coming to an end in about 6-7 months from now.

He's currently in the process of trying to put feelers out there in the hopes of obtaining a full-time youth pastor position to transition to after this job is over, and he said he's not at the point of totally freaking out about that yet, but just thinking about how many completely unknown details about his life will be happening in just a few months is a really frightening thought!

So because that all sounds so scary (having no idea what job he'll have,...IF he'll have a job at all, and where in the world it will be and what changes it will bring to his life) he's asking for prayer for patience and faith in knowing that while he doesn't have these answers,...that in the meantime he'll have a strong enough faith to know that God has a plan for him and where his life will go.

As I listened to him speak about his job anxieties, my initial thoughts of how he feels so scared for the unknowns of the future and living with those haunting thoughts all the time were "welcome to the club!" And then when he mentioned he's earnestly trying to have a deeper faith and trust in God about the whole situation, my heart echoed those exact same thoughts!

I know I'm not alone in this situation, but that doesn't really change much for me, I still have to figure out something.

I've been tossing around the idea of opening my own etsy shop for several months now. It's an idea I've thought about countless times, over the past several years in fact, trying to figure out what in the world I would try to sell.

If you're not familiar with etsy, they're basically just like eBay except for all things handmade you could possibly imagine. You can check them out here, but be warned you could end up spending a LOT of time drooling over tons of handmade stuff you never knew you needed (and probably don't) but totally will end up wanting it now!

You basically open your own shop, design it, and sell whatever you want, as long as it's handmade. I have several friends who have etsy shops and they've made some money at it, but from what I've seen it's typically become just a little side, fun hobby where they can gain a little bit of pin money, but nothing really substantial enough to make all the work worth it.

Over the years I've tossed around a TON of different ideas for a shop of my own, even researching all the extreme details of what it would take to open a bake shop at one point, investigating all the rules and regulations, only to discover you have to have a whole separate 2nd kitchen in your home that's used exclusively for the business and inspected and meets all the food & health standards and regulations, health codes, etc.

There's only 1 kitchen in my home, so scratch that idea. And with all the big new regulations from the CPSIA related to safety in ensuring products for children do not contain dangerous amounts of lead (from paint, fabrics, etc.) that's got a lot of people already selling children's products really concerned about the future of their businesses.

After the past few months of spending a lot of my time being OVERLY crafty, I've tossed around numerous ideas for an etsy shop. And now I have 2 remaining reservations:

1 - I have absolutely NO interest in putting my family further in debt through purchasing a bunch of supplies, etc. in order to get any kind of business up and running.

2 - Every time I think about this idea it reminds me of just something desperate housewives would participate in to pass the time and give them some kind of fun hobby, or crafty outlet, that really doesn't make any real money.

And when I compare this little idea to my previous life as an accountant working in big corporate America, I'm a little embarrassed at the whole idea of it. I have a bachelor's in accounting and an MBA in technology management for crapping out loud! I should be able to find a really decent paying full-time job in accounting, or project management, or as a business analyst practically anywhere!

But instead I'm sitting at home toying with the idea of starting my own little on-line crafty shop like so many other SAHM's???!!! An idea my former colleagues would most likely laugh at.

[Side note: I'm not trying to put down the whole SAHM crafty business thing AT ALL, in fact most days I'm in pure awe of how incredibly talented so many women are, and equally in awe of the amount of items they've sold on etsy in just a few months time at prices I can't help but think are often purely, ridiculously high!

And I'm not trying to toot my own horn about my degrees and qualifications and sound really conceited, I'm just voicing some of the constant back and forth thoughts that run through my head most days as I try to reconcile why on earth I am this skilled and yet still can't find ANY job after more that 15 months of constant searching.

Plus after expressing my heart's desires so many times to never go back to work and continue to be here at home with my kids I'm trying to figure out if all of these thoughts are simply selfish little me throwing a pitty party about not being able to financially afford to stay home while my husband works and provides enough to make this whole conversation a non issue like it seems for so many of my friends...I don't want to act that way!]

I picked up IK from school yesterday (he stayed after to catch up on some homework) and as we drove to the store we talked about this whole dilemma. At which point he said to me mom, you've got an MBA now, you can make anything work!

Oh, how I love my children!

Which has led my thoughts (at least for today) to be more in favor of the idea of opening my own shop. I have no concerns about how to do all of the "business" type stuff associated with that, that part comes easy to me.

And lately I've been playing around with a bunch of new designs and ideas for items I think could actually sell really well,...but there's so many sellers on etsy already.

Plus I've never really ever thought of myself as a really crafty person, maybe because I'm usually just good at copying other people's ideas and recreating them, but not necessarily coming up with my own unique creations. So actually sitting down and sketching out my own designs, free hand drawing out and making my own stencils and turning them into actual stuff to sell is a pretty foreign area for me to dive into...I'm much more comfortable with doing all the behind the scenes strategic planning, and far less confident in my creative ideas.

I have plenty of craft supplies already at home, so to get started there would be virtually no upfront costs to at least try this idea out.

But then I'm torn with whether I should be spending my time trying to invest in this new idea, making several items to sell, or if I should be cherishing what time I have left here at home with KW and spending those moments with him?

Or could this actually be a feasible solution for me to find a way to make some income from home doing something I love that could actually help pay our bills gradually after I have time to build my business?

UGGGHHHHH!!!!! And the continuing argument goes on and on, back and forth, in my head!

I will say the new designs and prototype items I'm creating these days are much better than any of the cool stuff I made for Christmas, but I'm still lacking some confidence to just take the leap and give this a try.

Probably because I've already tried SO MANY other ideas for making money at home over the years that have all not worked...from direct Internet sales pushing cleaning products on all my family and friends...to buying junk at yard sales to resell on eBay...to dog breeding and actually birthing puppies in our garage of all things!

Could the constant battle in my brain be a tug of war between me trying to rationalize all of this in concrete accounting type ways that make me hesitant while God is trying to encourage me to have a deep enough faith to know that He has a plan for my life and maybe I should finally just go for it?

After all, God has a really long track record for taking people completely out of their comfort zones from what they're familiar with and would expect to do with their lives and instead gives them totally different things to do.

What do you think I should do? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Should I go for it? Or should I just be patient and keep filling out more job applications in the hopes that I'll find a job soon?

I'm in Love!

I stumbled across a new blog today, through another blog, and now I'm in love!

It's a blog called Knock Off Wood, where this amazing mom with some pretty amazing skills shows you pictures of dreamy furniture that costs TONS of money (which is why we only dream about owning that kind of furniture)...

...and then she provides you with step by step instructions on how to make those EXACT items by yourself for hundreds and even thousands of dollars LESS!

So I've completely decided that I totally NEED everything posted on her blog to be made and placed in my home, whether or not I have the room for it,...or actually need it,...or it fits at all. Stuff like this table:

Or this one...

And this coffee table is a serious MUST have...

And I "need" an entry way in my home so I can put this in it...

Or maybe this...

Except I like it better in this dark finish...

And KW should definitely have this play table in his room...

And my girls should have this table in their room...

Where they could do homework and all their crafts. Or maybe this one instead with the really cute little storage benches...

And they simply MUST have one of these awesomely organized shelves!

 

 

 

 

 

If only I could decide which one I like best. And since my girls are too old for these ideas, I totally think my nieces need this bed...

And this play kitchen...

 

And this play market...

And I totally need this media center in my living room...

And I have no idea where I'd put this, but yeah, it's on the must haves list too!

Or maybe this one?

Yeah....did I mention that she actually tells you all the detailed plans for exactly how to make all of this amazing furniture and more all by yourself????!!!!!

Now I just need to convince my husband that he needs to make all of this stuff for me,...or convince my brother-in-law Mike to fly to Idaho and make it all since he actually works with wood for a living.

What's funny is that the chances of him actually flying out here to make all of this stuff for me are probably greater than my husband finding time to do it all...

...but that's not going to stop me from sharing all of this delightfully tempting wish list stuff with him when he comes home from work tonight!

At least for now I can collect a ton of amazing ideas for the "someday" and "in our next house" folder, right?

Crayon Rolls and Crayon Tote

To go along with the totes and coloring books for Christmas children need crayons, right? So I searched around for a simple pattern for crayon rolls and found a great one here that I really liked, where you can find all the details/measurements, etc. for this project.

I had several children on my Christmas list, so it was really fun to choose different fabrics to match each child's personality.

I used these fun pink colors above for my 2 little nieces. When you need just a little bit of fabric in several different colors, using fat quarters works really well!

I cut my fabrics, fusible interfacing, and matching ribbon according to the pattern and went to work. 

Having little faith in my abilities to sew several straight lines of the same width, I kept my measuring tap wrapped around my neck during this part of the process and measured each space to line up my needle for the next straight line.

Tada! My first try turned out AWESOME! It looked so cool and I was really pleased with how easy this pattern was to follow, how fun it was to make, and how great the finished product turned out for me, a very novice sewer.

Next step, add some fun crayons, roll up, and tie your ribbon into a pretty bow.

 

Soooo cute!!! Several of the adults at Christmas who had never seen crayon rolls before were blown away with how totally cool this project was!

Yeah, that totally made me feel awesome! I heard several stories about how both of my nieces immediately loved these gifts and in the middle of unwrapping several presents they went off with their totes, coloring books, and adorable crayon rolls and were instantly entertained as they enjoyed coloring.

So next I decided to make another one in some fun boy colors for my youngest son, which also turned out awesome.

But my only concern is that since he just turned 4 that I would end up being the person stuck constantly having to retie this bow when he's done coloring.

This project is awesome for slightly older children, or parents with far more patience for constantly retying bows than I have.

So instead I took out the crayons and replaced them with mini washable markers and gave this roll to my 8 year old daughter who loved it...and who can tie her own bows. :o)

The height dimensions were just slightly too short for the markers, but it still works. If I was going to make this from the start I would simply tweak those measurements enough to fit the height of the markers.

Next up, I chose some great earthy toned fabrics for my 12 year old daughter.

Because she's a little older for typical crayons, but still enjoys all artsy things, I decided to fill her roll with color pencils.

I simply increased the width of the slots for each crayon to fit 2 colored pencils and in total decreased the number of slots needed.

 

Then for my oldest son who's 14 and enjoys drawing action figures on notepads with pencils, I chose these fabrics.

And went to Michael's and bought him a really nice set of charcoals and a couple of white sketchpads.

It turned out great! This one simple pattern made a perfect gift for children,...boys or girls, from my 2 yr. old nieces all the way up to  my 14 yr. old son.

Now, back to what I did differently for my youngest son, because I'm all for making these cute ribbon tied rolls as gifts, but I'm way too lazy to constantly tie them myself...I think it's also because I'm lousy at tying simple bows and if they don't look just perfect it totally bothers me.

So, how could I make some kind of crayon holder that's easy to make, but doesn't require my constant attention to close?

I started with some scraps I had lying around. I picked up the cute Bob the Builder flannel on a clearance rack, the navy blue strips are still some leftover fabric from IK's Halloween costume, and the red strips were leftover scraps from LA's Halloween tote.

[Ignore the fact that there are 4 red strips in the picture above, I was having a dumb moment because you only need 2 of them, and I was too lazy to retake the picture.]

Materials:

---2 fabrics for the main body, 8.5" x 12" - I used Bob the Builder flannel for both sides, but you could use 2 different colors.

---1 piece heavy weight lining cut slightly smaller than 8.5" x 12" - I used heavy weight Peltex Pellon.

---2 strips for the crayon pockets, 8.5" x 5" - mine are navy blue cotton

---2 strips for the handles, 2.5" x 12" - mine are red cotton

---velcro

---coordinating thread, and all the other usual supplies (sewing machine, scissors, etc.)

Begin by ironing  your handle straps in half, then unfold them and iron each side in half again toward the center. Mine ended up just slightly larger than 1 inch wide.

Sew the edges of your straps and set aside.

About 1 inch from each short side cut a strip of velcro and pin. Sew around the edges of the velcro to hold in place.

Fold over the edges about 1 inch and iron flat.

Tuck one end of your strap underneath the folded edge just to the side of the velcro.

Then bending your strap in half, fold it over the Bob the Builder fabric as shown above. Pin in place and repeat on the other side of the handle, centering the strap as you go.

Sew a box stitch to hold the strap.

This provides some extra strength for the straps on this major stress point.

Next, fold the navy blue strip in half, iron flat, and sew around 2 edges leaving 1 edge open to turn the pocket inside out. Iron flat again and pin in place just below the velcro closures.

Repeat the process for the second strap and pocket on the other side.

Next follow the same straight line stitching instructions from the crayon rolls and sew separators for the individual crayons.

NOTE: This was my first try, so I ended up with a total of 9 crayon spaces on each side. I wanted enough space for 16 crayons total, so next time I'd adjust these measurements slightly,...this time I just added more crayons.

Repeat on the other side.

Now take this whole piece and pin it together with the other Bob the Builder piece right sides facing and the heavy weight lining.

Sew around the edges leaving a hole to turn this project right side in. Because there are 2 separate handles I sewed from one long side around to the first handle, left an opening, sewed the second long side around to the other handle, and left a second opening.

Once I turned the whole thing right side in, I sewed all the way around to close the holes, similar to the crayon roll instructions.

Iron flat, fill with crayons, close, and give to child with a coloring book.

The velcro closure and handles design works really well for my little guy! This is a perfect take along gift to help children keep quiet when needed.

Our church has a family Sunday once per month where all the children attend the service with their parents, and this crayon tote made a perfect activity to keep KW quietly entertained during that time.

Even with the heavy weight lining, the tote is still very soft and flexible, so next time I think I might try to use a more firm chipboard lining to make this more like a firm book.

Thanks Cocoa for such a wonderful pattern & tutorial! Go check out her awesome blog for more ideas here.