Describing My Life Right Now

Between my recent medical scare and the ongoing ups and downs of the whole job situation, I'm finding myself feeling less and less in control of my life and feeling more and more such a deep need to draw closer to God right now, resting and relying on Him to know that He has a perfect plan for my life and will take care of my family, even though I often feel as if I have no idea what that plan is. 

While chatting with my oldest son, IK, yesterday afternoon and discussing some of these really crazy events and twists and turns life has brought us this week, IK all of a sudden thought about a certain song and began to play it on his computer.

It's a few years old now, and I've heard it many times before, but I hadn't heard it in a very long time. And right in that moment we just stopped talking for a while to listen to the lyrics, and all I could think about what how perfectly it was describing my life at the moment.

I could be sitting here, very upset, frustrated, even angry about not getting this latest job I really, really wanted. I could be very angry at my doctor and all the new medical bills we now have from all the co-pays, prescriptions, and ER visit that will all add to an already overflowing pile of bills we worry about and certainly didn't need to add anything more to.

But instead, I'm choosing not to do any of that. I'm choosing to trust in God even more. I'm choosing to remain confident that everything's going to work out fine somehow. I'm trying to keep the glass half full mentality and think just maybe the job I didn't get at Simplot isn't such a bad thing because the new position is actually even closer to the project management work I'm looking for and the pay scale is MUCH higher, so maybe I'll get an interview and end up with an even better job? Who knows?

It's funny, I've been searching all over the Internet for a video of this song, but since it came out in 2004, I'm really struggling to find anything except for this one on Youtube that someone set to clips from Star Wars. Which is pretty clever and funny,...not exactly the same train of thought I was going for here, but whatever.

I guess you can either watch the video if you're a Star Wars fan, close your eyes and listen if you're not, or read along with the lyrics below.

These aren't my problems anymore, I'm giving them to God.

"Out of My Hands"

by Matthew West

There you go changing my plans again
There you go shifting my sands again
For reasons I don't understand again
Lately I don't have a clue

Just when I start liking what I see
There you go changing my scenery
I never know where you're were taking me
But I'm trying just to follow you

Chorus
It's out of my hands
It's out of my reach
It's over my head
And it's out of my league

There's too many things
That I don't understand
So it's into your will
And it's out of my hands

There you go healing these scars again
Showing me right where you are again
I'm helpless, and that's where I start again
I'm giving it all up to you

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:
Move me, make me
Choose me, change me
Send me, shake me
Find me, remind me

The past is behind me

Take it all away
Take it all from me, I pray

Repeat Chorus