To catch up on the earlier parts of my story, read here and here.
So now I’m at the realization that I need to return to work now. The “mommy emotions” associated with this huge transition have been extreme! For almost two months I could not discuss this topic without quickly turning into an enormous, sobbing mess.
My greatest joy in life is being a full-time mom, and I have absolutely NO desire to return to work. But as I’ve already mentioned, what I want ultimately has nothing to do with the decisions that need to be made in order to provide for my family.
In September I began filling out countless applications and sending in resumes at every potential open position I believed I could be qualified for. At the same time, I decided to contact some of my former bosses regarding one of the applications at a different company to see if they might know anyone employed there to help me get my foot in the door, and to notify them I might ask them to provide references for me in the near future.
By sheer coincidence (or what I can explain as only a God thing), one of my former bosses replied very fondly and also mentioned there just happens to be a new position which recently became available in the department and to let her know if I’m interested. I'm talking about a position with the exact same company, in the exact same department I left 5 years ago and where I swore I would never return.
My first reaction of course was that I’d be interested in returning to work for that company just as soon as hell freezes over! But knowing the importance behind my ability to find a job in the very near future, I decided to inquire further and keep my options open.
So she called and we discussed the position in more detail. I had assumed she would describe to me responsibilities very similar to the position I previously held, but instead she explained a whole new vision she has for an entirely new set of responsibilities for this job. In a nutshell the items she explained use this accounting position to branch out from its roots in accounting into project management as the company works to convert many systems.
The amazing part of what she explained was that her new vision just happens to fall almost DIRECTLY in line with the exact new direction I have been pursuing in my MBA program! I purposely decided to pursue an MBA in Technology Management to gain more project management skills and build off of my bachelor’s in accounting and experience in that field. Of course this information peaked my interest a little more.
I began researching what’s been going on since I left the company 5 years ago. In that time I’ve managed to remain in contact with several different people still employed in various parts of the company. In 2006 the company was bought out by another large national retail chain and has now once again replaced the majority of the company’s senior management…and the explanation of the work environment today and the way employees are treated in comparison to how it was when I left was:
NIGHT AND DAY!!!
Without going into a million details (because this story is far too long already), I’ve heard from so many different people how the quality of working conditions has drastically improved! With all of this information, and several rejection letters from my other applications, I decided to pursue the position further.
But the job was posted as internal only, available only to current employees. In order to accept my application, my former boss would have to convince a certain VP in the company to change the posting to allow external applications.
Due to various vacations and business travel, this process has drug on for many weeks. But the entire time, my former boss has been keeping me updated with weekly e-mails on the status of the position. I’ve learned there have been at least 3 internal applications for the position from current employees in other departments.
In meeting with the VP, they decided to wait to approve the posting change and first allow me to interview to decide whether or not they indeed want to hire me over the other applicants. If they make that decision, then they will have to go back to the VP and continue to pursue the hiring of an external applicant.
My set of interviews with my former boss, several other department managers, and the director of the department occurred 2 weeks ago, and all of it went very well. As a side bonus, almost ALL of the hourly staff who used to work in the department when I left are STILL there!!!! So when I showed up to interview it was a wonderful surprise for everyone to see me and a great chance to catch up briefly with so many wonderful old friends.
I began discussions with my former boss back in mid-Sept., and now it’s early Nov. and I’m still waiting to hear the results. On a positive note, last Friday I received another weekly update e-mail from her stating they’ve completed the interviewing process and are hoping to have a decision and hiring approval by the end of this week!!!
Knowing how excited she has seemed this entire time to know I’m interested in the position, and knowing her personality (having previously worked for her) I don’t believe she would be stringing me along with these weekly updates if she wasn’t doing everything in her power to hire me...which has been a very encouraging thought the past 2 months as I’ve continued to be frustrated waiting for this process to end.
The consequences of me receiving this position are enormous! There are many positives and negatives to consider:
Incentives:
1. The salary range quoted for the position is more than I originally hoped to obtain after being rusty playing mommy the past several years.
2. The benefits with the position would also make a huge difference, such as providing additional dental coverage to help pay for the braces IK needs that our current dental coverage will not cover one dime of.
3. Obtaining this position would more than double our current household income.
4. Obtaining this position would allow us to make a new offer on the dream home we’ve found and keep our current home as a rental (since it’s been on the market for over 4 months and still hasn’t sold).
5. My return to work would completely eliminate ALL of our financial stress, removing an enormous weight off of SD’s shoulders as the only income provider, and allowing us to live rather comfortably.
6. The extra income would allow us to pay off our Suburban much sooner, to pay off our student loans sooner, to save more for our children, annual vacations, and retirement.
7. Everything I’ve heard about the way employees are treated has been very positive.
8. I would be able to work with a bunch of old friends again.
Negatives:
1. I will no longer be able to stay home with my kids.
2. The job still requires long hours on occasion, although possibly not as bad as before.
3. The job still requires a lot of travel depending on the needs of the various projects I would be assigned.
4. I’m only halfway through my MBA program, so I will have to juggle full-time work alongside full-time school for another year.
5. On a “good” day I might be able to spend a maximum of 1-2 hours with my husband and all 4 of my children after returning from work before having to work on schoolwork.
6. The mommy side of me is totally and utterly heartbroken!
But as I’ve already mentioned, ultimately it doesn’t matter what the mommy side of me feels, because the reality and demands of life are dictating this course of action with no alternative. So I’ve been doing my best to focus on the positives of the situation, and to put all of it in God’s hands and confidently know that He will take care of me and my family.
I’m also keeping in mind that returning to work for this employer doesn’t mean I have to work there forever. So if things really haven’t changed, I can still pursue a job somewhere else. In the meantime, I’m still very concerned about how the next 1-2 years of my transition back to working full-time will impact my children, my close relationship with each one of them, and my marriage. I don’t have any worries about those solid relationships today…and that’s the whole point…because I want to keep it that way!
So there you have it…my VERY LONG story still VERY LONG!!!!! For now all I can do is continue to wait and pray that God will lead me in the direction that is best for my family. And if obtaining this job isn't the answer, then I pray God would make it evident and open doors in a new area.
Either way, I'm praying for continued patience on my part, because it's EXTREMELY hard to just keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting!
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